Yoke Hong's Birthday Celebration

Am i asking too much?

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Term break

Currently I’m mugging but unfortunately I cannot really focus so I decided to blog. This coming week shall be my term break but to be exact it is actually study break because, there are so many tests ahead waiting to freak me out when school commerce on 29 Sep 2008. If I continue to nag and grumble about school life I guess this entry will end up so boring. Thus that’s enough for my school.

Yesterday I realised something and indeed this incident knock some sense to me about the importance of TF. I never want that to happen again. Never! I seem to get influenced very easily on certain matter and make me confused and lost for a while. But luckily I still managed to walk out the maze safely. People tend to go astray when things get pretty saturated. Promised that such enticement will never make me lost in my way again. There’s only one and one person standing at the opposite end of my journey and he shall be my beloved baby.

What’s wrong?

Something is terribly wrong with me however I really cannot identify what’s the problem. Sadly seem to take my smile away. I don’t feel like smiling so often. Today when I was bathing, tears suddenly drop and the funny part is I don’t even know what the reason is. I just feel that there is so much stuff being hidden at the deepest part of my heart and it’s beyond my control to recognize the intensive problem. I really hope to say it out to people close around me but I don’t even know how should I put every single fragments of my problem into a full picture. I tried to think deeper and all I can squeeze out of my brain was my tears. I try even harder to think and finally came to a conclusion that dominating part for this problem is school followed by piano.
For school, things are getting more and more taxing and I m almost at the verge of cannot cope. There are so many lecture notes and tutorials stacking for me to revise. Continuously rushing for difficult reports, assignment and mugging for tests really driving me nuts. It’s not that I never pay attention in lecture which makes me unable to understand what is the lecturer trying to deliver but it’s beyond my understanding. Stressful emotion is filling up from the base to the brim of me and making me extremely mood-less, weak and emotional. This is not what I wished. I want to be the happy girl I used to be. But currently, if I spoke more than 5 words, my tears will drop. Though from the outside, I may be smiling and in joyous mood but that’s not the real me. Probably, I have been on a very long holiday which makes me still unable to switch back to my current life. I really need some powerful capsule to boost up my mood. Regards to relationship, other than some small sparkles there aren’t gigantic unsolvable problems. Patience and security is all I really need. If you are reading this entry and you happen to know me. Please refrain from asking me what’s wrong with me. I really appreciate your concern but I seriously don’t wish to further elaborate.